Friday, February 21, 2014

Facebook

I'm thinking in Facebook statements in my mind lately.  And it's irritating me.  When something happens, I think "Oooh - that'd be a good one to post."  Then I think about why I'd post it and if it makes sense to post it.  I think about how some of my ideas for posts would show what I'm doing and give insight into our lives.  Then I think about how others might judge me for sounding too spiritual/not godly enough/too boastful/too occupied with myself/that I post too many pictures/negative posts/positive posts...  and that thinking wears my brain out.  I don't need it.

I have a love/dislike relationship with Facebook.  Highly considering stopping looking at it or posting just because it seems silly and time-wasting and more destructive than positive in my life at this point.  (And no, this is not a cry for "please convince me to stay on facebook" - more just a way to write how I feel about it and see if I agree with myself)

I will be the first to admit that I love taking pics of our kids and talking about what we're up to.  Though I do realize that most people probably could care less or glance and go "that's cool" or "awww... cute girls" (meaning Riley and Julia).  Lately I've been pondering why I post information at all or why I put up the pictures.  I've got tons of questions in my mind:

1. Am I trying to get lots of 'likes' so I can feel good about myself and our life?
2. Am I wanting to prove that I'm a great person/mom/teacher/wife/crochet-er?
3. Am I wanting to share wisdom that I've learned?
4. Do I feel that what I know is so important that I must share with my many friends - many of whom I haven't seen in years and years, who are not truly involved in my life, or who are involved in my life and I have better conversations with them in person or by texting when the whole world doesn't see the texts?
5. Is this truly something worth my time and energy and thoughts?

The answer to all of these lately seems to be two things:
No, it's not worth my time and energy and mental resources.  Not to mention my emotions and the way I feel when others boast (I'm guilty of this too) about what they are doing, where they are going or how awesome their husband is and what he does that makes their life so much better than mine.

I don't think most people post things thinking about making others jealous or proving how much better their life is than mine.  Or do they?  Do they think about how great they've got it in certain areas and focus on those areas solely to make themselves feel good about who they are?

This may be WAY too deep as to why people do what they do.  They simply might want to talk and share.  I do believe that under every post is a reason.  A reason to share great news like "Baby is here!  We're in our new house!  Look how good God is!"  There are other reasons behind posts as well "My husband bought me a trip to Cancun - who's the most amazing person on earth and who's the luckiest girl ever?" (NOTE:  This was a made up line!  I didn't copy it from any of your posts)  or the post "Check out my seat for the next two hours" (front row of a rock concert or view of the ocean).  There's no way that it is anything except boastful and wanting to show off.  Again:  this person is guilty as charged of that as well.

The other answer for me is unfortunately Yes.  Yes, I do want to feel good about the life I've created and that Jeremy and I have created together.  Though I already do feel good about it.  However, I feel even better when people 'like' my statuses and when I'm validated in how blessed or how awesome the things are that we get to do.  So silly.  Yet I know I'm not alone in my feelings on it.

I'm also not alone on reading post after post about how fabulous others lives are and then wondering why my life doesn't live up to that standard.  After all, I have it so incredibly good until I read about others' lives.  Then I grow resentful... and it comes on slowly or without even knowing it.  There's even a trend called "Facebook Depression."  Seriously.  Check it out:

http://www.plosone.org/article/info:doi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0069841

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/21st-century-aging/201308/facebook-depression

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/facebook-depression/

Not sure that I have that;  what I do know is that I don't always come away feeling energized, excited, upbeat and joyful after being on Facebook.  That should say something.

All this to say that after writing for the last 10 minutes, it is time to take the Facebook App off of my phone and take a break from trying to prove something, think of something clever or spend time on unnecessary posts (reading or writing them myself).  Instead fresh air outside, time with my kids, reading good books and lots of them and just BEING sounds like more fun.

Here goes...


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