Get your bro on
I was talking with one of my friends who is also a coworker about how I am wanting to stand up taller this year and have better posture. Thinking I'll actually post a sign saying "Stand tall. Shoulders back" at the back of my room so that when I'm teaching, I can look up at it and remind myself of how I want to stand. My friend then told me it reminded her of this workout video she did that involved dead lifts. The guy says to "Get your bro on" to help you remember to pull your shoulders back and keep your back straight. I might just have to write this on the back wall of my classroom (quite small and at the top of the ceiling) to remind me to straighten up.
This phrase and idea of standing up straighter this year involves more than just my posture. It applies to my thinking about my beliefs, my faith, my passion for my work, and my insecurities. Today I had meetings throughout the day and there were several times that I felt that I needed to "get my bro on" and step in to share something. Or to facilitate differently when conversations went astray. A few times I did and it felt good to collaborate with others as well as identify ways in which we are doing amazing things. Because we are.
I feel very passionately about my work, my dedication to music education, and to what it is that I do with students every day. It can be hard to explain to others what an Orff middle school teacher does and what exactly the Orff approach is, how it plays out in the classroom, and why it matters. Sometimes I get tired of defending what I do... or I get tired of playing out in my head about what I am assuming others think about what I do and whether they think I'm good enough at it...and then I get tired of the self talk in my head to myself and wish I could just, as my husband says, 'chill out.'
But it's hard to chill out when you have so many things you want to do to improve. I want to be more assertive, but not overbearing. More confident, but not self-righteous. More sure of myself, but not elitist in thinking I'm better than others. I wish I wasn't always so worried about how I'm perceived as an educator and could rest in knowing that I go above and beyond (which I do) to make amazing music with students and that alone is enough. I wish I didn't take data so personally. Not all feedback about a music program is mine to bear. And not all of it is my doing - the good or the ugly. Though aren't we all eager to claim all the good as our doing and pass the ugly off on someone else? It's so much easier. Though I tend to claim all of it as my doing and then dwell on the ugly for long periods of time. Not healthy or productive.
So this year I'm going to straighten up my back, get a stiffer and more secure backbone, and face my self-talk as well as my critics with the confidence in knowing what I do that makes a difference. And then finally 'chill out.'
This phrase and idea of standing up straighter this year involves more than just my posture. It applies to my thinking about my beliefs, my faith, my passion for my work, and my insecurities. Today I had meetings throughout the day and there were several times that I felt that I needed to "get my bro on" and step in to share something. Or to facilitate differently when conversations went astray. A few times I did and it felt good to collaborate with others as well as identify ways in which we are doing amazing things. Because we are.
I feel very passionately about my work, my dedication to music education, and to what it is that I do with students every day. It can be hard to explain to others what an Orff middle school teacher does and what exactly the Orff approach is, how it plays out in the classroom, and why it matters. Sometimes I get tired of defending what I do... or I get tired of playing out in my head about what I am assuming others think about what I do and whether they think I'm good enough at it...and then I get tired of the self talk in my head to myself and wish I could just, as my husband says, 'chill out.'
But it's hard to chill out when you have so many things you want to do to improve. I want to be more assertive, but not overbearing. More confident, but not self-righteous. More sure of myself, but not elitist in thinking I'm better than others. I wish I wasn't always so worried about how I'm perceived as an educator and could rest in knowing that I go above and beyond (which I do) to make amazing music with students and that alone is enough. I wish I didn't take data so personally. Not all feedback about a music program is mine to bear. And not all of it is my doing - the good or the ugly. Though aren't we all eager to claim all the good as our doing and pass the ugly off on someone else? It's so much easier. Though I tend to claim all of it as my doing and then dwell on the ugly for long periods of time. Not healthy or productive.
So this year I'm going to straighten up my back, get a stiffer and more secure backbone, and face my self-talk as well as my critics with the confidence in knowing what I do that makes a difference. And then finally 'chill out.'
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