Friday, January 16, 2015

Disappointing

I'm not used to rejection.  This became apparent when I experienced it this week.  I applied for a large scholarship for graduate school and received an email on Tuesday stating that I was not one of the people selected to receive it.  Bummer.

Then I heard from two friends that I am in class with in grad school and both of them received the scholarships.  I am extremely happy for them!  They truly deserve it and it will be a complete financial burden off of them.  Their 'win' takes nothing away from me and who I am.  It is theirs to have and incredibly deserved.  I truly am so thrilled for them.

Glennon's article was something that I read about a week ago.  I loved it then and love it even more today.  I used to feel that when someone else earned something I was hoping for, that they were better and I sucked.  That they were winning and I was losing.  The older I get, the more I see that this was their appointment and my disappointment.  But that my appointments will come when they are right for me.

There is enough.
I am enough.
I have enough.

Her Good News Makes You Feel Bad

If this wasn't enough of an article to help God speak to me about not looking at myself as a failure, I read a chapter in the book "Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown tonight.  The chapter was on scarcity.  And spoke to the exact same thing:  you are enough!

My favorite section was a long quote from the book "The Soul of Money" by Lynne Twist.

"For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is "I didn't get enough sleep."  The next one is "I don't have enough time."  Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it.  We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don't have enough of... We don't have enough exercise.  We don't have enough work.  We don't have enough profits.  We don't have enough power.  We don't have enough wilderness.  We don't have enough weekends.  Of course, we don't have enough money - ever.
We're not thin enough, we're not smart enough, we're not pretty enough or fit enough or educated or successful enough, or rich enough - ever. Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we're already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something.  And by the time we go to bed at night, our minds race with a litany of what we didn't get, or didn't get done, that day.  We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up to the reverie of lack...What begins as a simple expression of the hurried life, or even the challenged life, grows into the justification for an unfulfilled life."

Wow.  Thinking God is speaking very clearly to me that:

There is enough
I am enough
I have enough

One rejection does not define me.

"Joy is what happens to use when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are" - Marianne Williamson

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